Memories are Forever!!!!!!
- jessetorres358
- Feb 24, 2024
- 13 min read
Updated: Jul 31
Due to my frequent moves to Minnesota, I effectively lived dual lives in two distinct states. At that time, my high school was notorious for its poor reputation. However, perceptions have changed now. Today, "PSJA BEARS" is recognized for its outstanding students. My friends were the best companions I could have wished for. We attended school primarily to be together rather than focus on academics. None of us regrets the incredible experiences we shared; at least, I don't. We all obtained an education, that's for sure.
Over the years, "PSJA" has experienced transformations. When we were in high school, pagers were common, but cell phones hadn't appeared yet. As a result, we didn't have as many options as young people do today. We were more attentive to each other, allowing us to have fun and spend more time together. A shared trait among all my friends was the constant support we gave one another. We were simply living our lives, skipping classes daily. If you were looking for me, you could likely find me at all three lunch periods.
Every day, I eagerly anticipated going to school because I felt a strong bond with these girls. It was something special; we would meet in the same place daily, almost like it was our personal spot. The lives of these girls have turned out beautifully, and I am incredibly proud all of them. Many have married, started families, and are now grandparents.
Marriage brings extra challenges for transgender women, as men often face insecurities about their sexuality and concerns about others' opinions. Despite this, I continue to hope that I will marry someday.
High school turned out to be an amazing experience for me. A neighbor had cautioned me that I might encounter harassment for being "LGBTQ," which scared me. I was so anxious that I wasn't even eager to attend high school. When my mother took me to register, I met a friend and spent the whole day with her. I decided to stick close to her since it seemed like the best option. Eventually, I realized that high school wasn't as bad as I had feared. As a freshman, I witnessed a rumbo between the "PO-Boys and TCB." The older students looked intimidating with their outdated styles and serious attitudes towards their gang. Being a short freshman at the time made it even more daunting. During this time, a 12-year-old child from Alamo was tragically killed in a drive-by shooting on Acasia Street. This incident was the catalyst for the unrest in "PSJA" that day. The child was the sibling of a Po-Boy, and sadly, it was a wrongful death.
During my freshman year, right in front of the cafeteria as I was on my way to class, a group of girls started fighting with each other. I didn't know them, but I heard they were Po-girls from Pharr. I didn't become a Po-Girl until my sophomore year. All I could see was their hair flying in all directions.
During this period, news spread rapidly at school that a Bom et from Pharr had been burned on a field. A Bom Et was known for the gang "TCB."
When we were kids, we didn’t understand that fighting didn't solve problems. This was especially true because my parents' generation urged their children to stand up to bullies. Because they grew up as bullies.
During my freshman year, I was unaware that these girls were part of a group known as the "Po-Girls." After learning about this, my sole advice to them was to steer clear of conflicts. Over time, they lost interest in talking to me because I reprimanded them too often. This situation left me with a decision: join the Po-Girls or seek out new friends. Can you guess which path I chose?
Naturally, I began getting involved in the fighting. Even though I didn't enjoy it, I had to learn quickly. As a child, I would start fights for fun during my trips up north. Then I met two "Po-Boys," who eventually became my friends and taught me self-defense. Growing up as an "LGBTQ" child in a gang environment made me an obvious target for the other group.
During my entire childhood, I was constantly by my best friend's side, accompanying her wherever she went. I even waited for her so we could graduate high school together. Sadly, not everything goes as planned. I had to finish it because it was my last opportunity to experience high school. That's how important she was to me. Even after she got married, our friendship endured. I'm delighted she's found her true love.
For generations, we used numbers to establish the age hierarchy. Even though I was part of an older generation then, some of these girls were younger than I was. Recently, we lost a "Po-Girl" to cancer. However, she left us with cherished memories. It was devastating that God took her from us so soon. To protect her privacy, I'll refer to her by her "Po-Girl" number instead of her name: "La X-110". You had a beautiful smile and looked amazing. You were never a fighter, and we all accepted that.
Going to classes was always fun since we would hang out and talk between sessions. We also needed to be prepared to step in if a friend required assistance, as fights frequently broke out during these moments. One day, a Po - Girl was assaulted by another gang in the restroom. When we found out, we all set out to find the nearest "Pharrola" to even the score. When we finally found two of them in the theater dorm, things became intense and all of the Po - Girls just went at them.
My friend, who led the "Po-Girls," began her journey as a wife. Naturally, we kept in touch from time to time. Even now, we remain as close friends. Yet, I never anticipated that I would eventually surpass her.
One day, unexpectedly, the second leader of the Pharrolas decided to attend high school with the aim of stirring up trouble with any Po Girl. It ended up being La X-42 who fought Gamez.
Gamez ended up trailing us with her car to where my friend lived. Consequently, we got off the bus at the location where the old swimming pool was in Alamo.
It was wild because Gamez was older than us and wasn't even attending school with us. As a result, my friend lost the fight after being punched in the nose and blacking out.
We were also unaware that my friend was pregnant. Fortunately, she didn't lose the baby. However, due to all the drama, La - X 23 challenged a pharola to a fight because of what happened to La X- 42.
Regrettably, the pharola was reluctant to the fight, but she had no other option but to engage in it. Let's just say that La - X - 23 sent her to the hospital.
Years later, at a club in Mexico "Kalypso", we encountered Gamez once more, this time with the younger generation. My friend asked me if it was Gamez, and I replied that I wasn't sure because I couldn't recall her appearance. Suddenly, a rumble broke out, and I got involved as well with pharola Garcia, while La X-23 began hitting Gamez. That day, I ended up getting arrested in Mexico. It's funny how things change. Gamez was taller than us when we first saw her in high school, but that day in Mexico, we were all the same height.
I remember receiving the "Po-Girls" list and not giving it back. This made me responsible for assigning the numbers. For each new group that joined, I had to assign numbers depending on whether they were newcomers or experienced, and we continued in that order.
Central High was a strict school for people like me who were just troublemakers. At that time, I was heavily involved in being a "Po-Girl," and all I wanted was to fight with the rival group. Although these girls are now grandmothers, I love that we still keep in touch. Some of them moved to different states to start their own families, and I'm happy for each of them.
In high school, I recall finding a friend rather irritating. Yet, ultimately, I value his friendship deeply. Our relationship was always platonic, never romantic. When I first met his friend, I fell in love with him, me while dealing with issues involving a "Po-boy" who wasn't supportive of the LGBTQ community. I heard his father was a pastor or a priest, something like that. My friend made it clear that if anyone messed with me, he would stand up for me. Let me just tell you, these two were incredibly skilled fighters, so they commanded respect.
I wasn't concerned about guys not respecting my status; But they left me alone because of my friends. I was a "Po-Girl," not a "Po-Boy," so I couldn't care less about what people thought of me. Still don't.
Whenever my friends and I weren't in the mood for attending class, we would go to the library instead. Naturally, they would request a pass, but we would make our own fake pass. It's amazing how fast time has passed. It feels like just yesterday that I was there, having fun with my friends and laughing non-stop.
We enjoyed our time together, when the school was quiet. I would eat Fritos and sip on a Sprite. The other girls were absorbed in gossip, though I can't recall the details. It was likely intriguing since we often talked about boys.
However, there were days when unexpected rumbles happened. If I recall correctly, one took place in the M - annex building. It was the last day of school, and many Po- Boys and Tcb went all out. That was the year schools decided to remove lockers from us students because many were being slammed into them aggressively.
Numerous individuals were sent to the hospital due to severe beatings.
We were just so innocent, as if we went to school every day. I started using Clearasil because it looked like makeup, and I enjoyed it. I also used Chapstick, which resembled lipstick and tinted my lips pink. We managed to have fun even on the boring days at school.
As we headed home one day after school, we were all seated at the back of the bus, creating quite a commotion for the cars passing by. Suddenly, a car pulled up behind us, and the driver got out when we stopped at a red light.
He immediately grabbed a baseball bat and broke the window. We all rushed to the front of the bus as glass shards flew everywhere. It was chaotic.
From the very beginning, I had a great impression of "Josie Vasquez". She identified as both "Latina" and "Po-girl," and whenever issues arose, she would always represent both "Latinos" and "Po-girls." She had an extraordinary character, but she married at a very young age. It was a while before I saw her again. Eventually, we did meet up, along with another friend who kept in constant contact with her. He was "LGBTQ," and they were best friends. Sadly, cancer claimed his life as well. I cherished everyone I went to school with and valued our friendship. He was a kind person with a generous heart. All of us who knew him still miss him to this day Love you "Albert Solis".
Many of my classmates came back to finish their degrees after taking a year-long break from school. In the valley, the minimum wage was $5.25 during those years, and many would struggle to make ends meet. I'm delighted they chose to return. This doesn't mean that everyone who was involved in gangs was a bad person. It was a common experience among us as kids, though sometimes conflicts did turn violent. Fortunately, no one was seriously hurt.
Staying connected with friends from elementary school proved difficult as they eventually formed their own circles. This is something many of us go through. While many joined different cliques in high school, we continued to engage with each other during class. If Yvonne and I Hadn't been in the same class, we wouldn't have taken this photo. I know her from Ben Franklin Elementary, highlighting that she was a wonder girl.
Even though we wanted to hang out with friends outside school, we had to concentrate on studying. Looking back, despite not being fond of school at the time, I would advise everyone to learn as much as they can. Education is vital for everyone. "Knowledge is power." I'm still learning new things in college.
Many of my friends became mothers early in life and got married. "PSJA" had a school for pregnant girls and that gave them the chance to finish their education. I remember meeting "Vivi" for the first time. When I asked if she was a "Po-Girl," she confirmed.
There were days when we girls didn't feel like attending class or even being at school. So, we would leave school by escaping, which is the best way to describe it. There was a nearby canal where we would hide until it was safe for us to walk.
There were numerous occasions when we didn't have money for food, so we would go to HEB on I Rd and take food from there.
After we ate for free, we would walk all the way to the shrine church in San Juan and walk around. No police ever stopped us, and our parents never caught us either.
We were simply enjoying ourselves, not thinking about the future, just living in the moment. It was incredible spending time with all of this girl.
On November18, my friends and I chose to skip school. It was my 17th birthday, and naturally, we didn't want to be in class. So, we headed to the Walmart in McAllen.
On that day, my mother was planning a surprise birthday party for me. I found out because my older sister informed me. As a result, I invited a few of my friends over. However, we never ended up attending my party.
I was arrested because my friends began taking items from the store. My mother was furious with me. I wasn't embarrassed by my friends' actions. We were just kids, and times were different back then. We didn't grow up wealthy, we were minors. However, this caused my mom to see me differently. I ended up staying at my grandmother's house for about 6 months.
They arrested me because I had just turned 17, whereas all my friends were still minors. As a result, the store blamed me. However, on the day I had to appear in court in Edinburg, something unusual occurred.
I met a clerk and started talking with her, but neither of us knew we were headed to the same courtroom. So, I ended up sharing the story of how I got arrested with her.
After we said our goodbyes, I sat in the courtroom waiting for my turn to be called. Eventually, I was summoned, and to my surprise, I saw the clerk alongside the judge.
The judge inquired about my plea. Wanting to conclude the matter quickly, I responded with "Guilty." However, the clerk I had encountered that day began whispering to the judge.
The judge instructed me to raise my right hand and repeat his words, which I did. As a result, the judge did not allow me to plead guilty to something I hadn't done.
The judge stated that if his son were in front of a different judge, he would recommend pleading not guilty. At that time, I felt alright. Reflecting now, it seems as if I had an angel watching over me. It took two years, but eventually, my charges were dismissed. Being in school was a significant advantage, as that's what all judges hope to see from individuals.
The first time I met "Olga", she was in middle school. Later on, I worked with her for a few days at a warehouse site. Although I didn't hang out with her then, I did spend time with her older cousins. We met at "Kalypso Reynosa," and being with them was always thrilling because they were incredible people. Over the years, we slowly lost touch, but social media helped us reconnect. Even though we don't meet up frequently, social media keeps us to stay in touched.
As my time with PSJA was coming to a close due to getting older, my friends and I began spending time in clubs.
I began frequenting numerous clubs, including "10th Ave, Trade Bar, and Montrose," which were the trendiest gay spots then. My favorite way to annoy my friends was by making various hand signs, and they all knew I was just joking around. Since I wasn't well-liked by many, I had to see who was there before getting drunk at a club. By that time, I was a skilled fighter, so I wasn't too worried about who I might end up fighting.
My friends and I often spent our weekends in Phar, which was the popular spot for parties for us. We had a great time and celebrated many of my birthdays there. It's essential to remember: "Treasure your birthday celebrations, as life is unpredictable." Sadly, the hostess of the house where we used to party passed away recently. We all miss her deeply because she was very important to all of us.
During my childhood, my regular straight hangout spot was Kalypso "Mexico Reynosa." We would rent an affordable room there to continue the fun after the club closed. We never thought we would grow as old as we are now. In our younger days, we avoided major troubles. Some friends did break the law, but nothing severe like murder or violent crimes. The primary concern was drugs. Drugs can change a person's outlook, so it's best to avoid them whenever possible.
As my high school chapter came to an end, my career as a CNA began. I finally graduated and started my adult life.
I recommend that everyone cherish their teenage years and make wise decisions, so you can share those experiences with future generations that are coming.
This is an example of the original "Po-girls" list, including both newcomers and experienced members. I had the chance to meet people from both younger and older age groups. When my friends' children started reaching high school age, I decided to distance myself from the group. As my younger siblings were also in high school and encountering issues with the "Po-Boys," I felt the need to step in and protect my family and friends' children on their behalf. Although my younger brother and sister weren't part of the gang, I was determined to join for their sake, no matter the cost. "Whoa"! It's amazing that I still have the list.
Every time individuals stroll through these hallways, they are creating memories, whether they're spending time with friends, napping against the walls during lunch breaks, or simply relaxing on the ground beside any tables. Always remember that PSJA is a welcoming family where everyone is embraced.
When I first walked though these halls, I seriously thought I was going to be beaten up every day for being LGBTQ. When in reality "PSJA BEARS" is and always will be my home till God decides to take me.
"Once a bear, always a bear." Los Osos Venenosos!!!!
This was me after my Transformation.
Love yourself and always love others.
My experiences in junior high and high school were vastly different. In junior high, I was frequently targeted, bullied, and physically attacked by other students. Teaching children the importance of kindness is crucial, as not everyone is as fortunate as I was.
This story focuses on my childhood and how all these wonderful people came to accept and support me, rather than spreading hate.
I urge everyone in the LGBTQ community to keep persevering, as acceptance will come with time. If it doesn't, leverage the legal system to support your rights.
Out of respect for their wishes to stay anonymous, I placed a heart over some girls.
Just for fun, I'll say it again: "Puro Po-Girl's, La X-43 P/V"
Story By: Britney J Torres
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